Sick Days

Wow! What a week! We've gone from a simple, "Mommy, my tummy hurts," to 104 plus degree temperatures, to massively runny noses, to an ear infection, to the stomach flu. All in the same week! Needless to say, I'm completely exhausted and longing for the day when we can go play at the park again. We've all been going a little stir crazy in our apartment. However, Hailey and I did eat lunch on our balcony (or as she calls it, our "valcony") this afternoon. It was very windy, but worth it. It was the last bit of peace for the afternoon though because Sarah woke up from her nap covered in puke and hasn't stopped for the past 6 hours. In fact, I am listening to the hum of the washing machine for the 4th time in the past 3 hours. I went in to put Hailey to bed and smelled the infamous smell. The one where you know exactly what it is, but you don't want to turn on the light and confirm it. Well, sure enough, Sarah was sound asleep with puke everywhere. Nice huh? You know the even better part? It was lime green from the popsicle she had for dinner. Guess even the liquid diet didn't work.

Ok, now that I've totally grossed you out, I wanted to get on to what the Lord has been talking to me about today. He gave me Psalm 100 to read last night. Particularly verse 3 which says, "Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture." This is what my commentary says about this verse: "God is our Creator; we did not create ourselves. Many people live as though they are the creator and center of their own little world. This mind-set leads to a greedy possessiveness and, if everything should be taken away, a loss of hope itself. But when we realize that God created us and gives us all we have, we will want to give to others as God gave to us (2 Corinthians 9:8). Then, if all is lost, we still have God and all he gives us.

Sometimes I think it is easy to slip into our routine, our plans, our schedule, thinking that WE have it all under control. But, I have come to realize through past experience that I don't have control. I want to have control, and so I've wrestled with God a LOT in my lifetime. But, you know what? It's pretty pointless to wrestle with God, and the reason why is because He is patient and understanding. So, we can yell and scream all we want. We can run away from His calling, we can curse him, we can try to hide. But, he will always find us. And when he does, His arms are open wide, ready to receive us just as we are. Isn't that frustrating? : ) It used to bug me because I'd get caught up in the whole I'm not worthy thing. None of us are worthy of his mercy and grace, and yet He freely gives it. So, I've stopped asking God, "Why is this happening to me?" when things go wrong in life. My dad has always told me, "Jesus never said He'd tell us why things happen. He just promises that he'll be with us when they do." I have held onto that all my life. (Even though I still asked.)

There have been times in the not-so-distant past that I have wondered where God was. I was in a pit of pain and despair so deep that I didn't think I'd ever get out. And I lost much; friends, a little of my dignity, a lot of my memory, and much more. But, Jesus rescued me from that pit. He spoke to me through His word, even though I couldn't hear his voice like I usually could. He gave me scripture after scripture that got me through that time. When I read through the journals of scriptures now, I can see plainly that he was indeed with me throughout that whole terrible and terrifying experience. Sometimes we have to just keep breathing to see the faithfulness of the Lord. He is faithful, and His love endures forever. Psalm 100:4 says, "For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." That means that I can trust him with my future, my childrens' future, and so on. But it's my job to trust Him. He is always there, it's us that pull away from Him.

So take heart my friends. If you feel that you can't go on, just keep breathing and you'll make it through another minute, another hour, another day. All you have to do is keep breathing. That's another thing my Dad taught me. I thank God every day for wonderful parents who have taught me so much and have been such a support to me. God knew I would need them and I will daily strive to love my girls the way my parents loved me.

Well, off to the showers. Throughout this blog I have taken at least 3 breaks to clean yet more puke and give Sarah a bath. So, I am in need of soap, LOTS of soap! Until tomorrow, sleep well. God is with you.