It has been three weeks since my eye surgery. My vision is slowly but surely improving and I have confidence now that it's going to be even sharper than it was with my contacts and glasses. It truly amazes me every day and it hit me yesterday just how cool this really is. I was in the pool with the kids and I could see! They could splash all they wanted and it didn't matter because I didn't have to worry about my contact lens washing out of my eye. I also felt safe and secure because I could see everything that was going on around me. This has been a dream of mine for over 20 years. I used to pray every night that I would wake up and be able to see. Now, through a blessing from my Grandma Peggy, and awesome technology, my prayers have been answered.
One of the things I have to continue to do for the next five weeks is use the prescription eye drops the doctor gave me after the surgery. Right now, I have to use them four times a day. In a couple weeks, it will go down to three times a day for a week, then two, then one, then done. Each time I put them in I have to keep my eyes closed for five minutes. For the first week, I had two sets of drops, so I had to keep my eyes closed for ten minutes each time. At first, this was really annoying to me. Forty minutes out of my day was spent having to do these drops. I am one of those people who finds it hard to just drop what I'm doing and lie down for ten minutes, but I have to admit that this is beginning to be something I look forward to. I get to take a five minute time-out four times a day. Since I can't do anything but shut my eyes, I find other things to do. I pray, I listen to the kids play around me, sometimes I put a song on my i-pod that is about five minutes long and I just worship God, sometimes I put a movie on that I've seen a million times because I can watch it in my head, sometimes I go outside and just listen to the sounds of the city. No matter what I do, I totally relax during those five minute breaks.
I encourage everyone to do this. Even after I'm done with the drops, I am going to purposefully keep taking those five minute time outs. It helps my mood, it helps my body, and it helps my spirit. I was worried at first that the kids would take the opportunity to go crazy and get into trouble during the time I have to keep my eyes closed but they haven't. They are good as gold every time. It helps when Josh is home because he will let me lock myself in my room while he keeps the girls busy for me. Those are the times when I can pray and worship with my i-pod to drown out all the sounds in the house.
You have to understand how weird it is for me to be writing about this. Just a couple yeas ago I was in bed and couldn't walk for so many months. Now, to be forcing myself to lie down is actually comical to me. Not in a "ha, ha" funny way, but in a "I can't believe I'm up more than I'm down" kind of way. The Lord has continued to heal me more and more and it's almost unbelievable some days. He told me once that I would forget the pain someday, but I would never forget what I went through. That has really been true. If I sit and think about it, I can remember how bad the pain was, but why would I want to sit and think about that? I never want to re-create that pain again. It's more the feelings that surrounded that entire period of time that I can remember vividly. There was so much fear, anxiety, bitterness, despair, helplessness, etc. that I thought the weight of it all would crush me. There were times when I literally felt like my chest was going to cave in from the anguish of not being able to take care of my daughter Hailey, my husband, and my home. All I could do was lie there and cry. I wasted so much time being resentful of the fact that I couldn't walk. Fortunately, God heard my cries for help and he rescued me from the pit of despair. But, he didn't answer me until I began to thank him in the midst of the pain. I had to choose to praise him through the pain. As soon as I started to do that, my healing began.
I'm not sure how I got off onto that subject exactly, but I think it's because if there's anything I want to say to you tonight it's this: Take time out of your day to be still before the Lord. Close your eyes and let him minister to you, or you minister to Him. Thank him for what you're going through, good or bad. If you are in a situation right now where you are in the pit of despair, just keep breathing. My Dad taught me that years ago. He said, "The only thing you have to do right now is keep breathing. That's your only job. If that's all you can do, you will live to see another day. Just keep breathing." I clung to that during that time of sorrow and suffering. I just kept breathing and I saw the salvation of the Lord. Make time to sit or lie down with your eyes closed at least once a day. You will be amazed at the refreshment it brings.
Here are a couple scriptures I'd like to leave you with. "I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit." Psalm 30:1-3
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 46:10
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