Saturday, January 9, 2010

Do You Ever Ask Yourself "Why?"

Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do? This is something I've been thinking about a lot these past few weeks. I get so frustrated because I do the same things over and over again and I can't figure out why it's so hard to break bad habits and start new good ones. For instance, why can't I just walk by a plate of cookies and not look back? Why can't I turn down dessert of any kind really? Why do I let myself get so frustrated at some of the things my kids do. After all, they are just kids! Usually what they are doing is not earth shatteringly horrific, it's just normal kid stuff. Like making messes! It's just a mess. It can be cleaned. So, why do I let it get me so upset?

I finally stopped reading parenting magazines because they are just a bunch of pages filled with "perfect" mothers, the "best" recipes that guarantee your kids will eat them, how to stop a tantrum with just one look, if you wear "this" shirt your baby belly will magically disappear, etc., etc. Maybe these things have worked for some mothers, but not for me. So, then I wonder, "Why doesn't it work for me?" Why can't I get my kids to expand beyond their five favorite foods? Why can't my house remain perfectly in tact like the cover of Pottery Barn Magazine? Why can't I seem to find this magic shirt that makes my belly disappear? You know why, because I live in the real world. I am not a perfect mother, my kids are picky eaters, and they throw the worst tantrums I could have ever imagined. I've had two c-sections and was in a wheelchair for 6 months after my second daughter was born. Not exactly a recipe for tight abs and a flat belly. It's real. It's life.

Ok, taking a deep breath now. Surely I am not the only mother who asks themselves, "Why?" I know I'm not alone and yet there are days when I feel like I'm the only one alive on the planet who does the things I do, or feels the way that I feel. I am grateful every day for my kids, no matter how frustrated I get. I love them so much that I would do anything for them. I guess I just can't get used to the fact that my kids can bring on so many emotions inside of me all at the same time. It's like a yo-yo! I'm up, I'm down, I'm up, I'm down. (Rather, "I love you, I want to sell you on ebay, I love you, I want to sell you on ebay.) You get the picture.

I can take comfort in the fact that even Paul, one of the most devoted followers of Jesus, asked himself the same questions that I'm asking. In Romans 7:15 he says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do." He goes on to explain that the reason why we do what we don't want to do is because of our sinful nature. In vs. 18-19 he says, "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing." Now, I'm not saying that I never do good, or that I go around being evil all the time. But, what I'm comforted by is the fact that even a righteous man like Paul struggled immensely against his flesh. We have our spirit and our flesh and they are constantly at war.

The verse that stuck out to me more than anything this week is Romans 8:13. It says, "For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God." The 'misdeeds of the body' can be anything from eating the wrong foods, to looking at the wrong images, to speaking wrong things, etc. (Insert your bad things here.) What we are supposed to do is regard the power of sin in our body as dead. When we regard sin's appeal as dead and lifeless, we can ignore temptation when it comes. So, how do we do this?

Well, here are some things I've read in the Word:

1. Go to the Lord in prayer and ask for His help. We should never try to defeat the power of sin on our own because it just isn't possible.
2. Don't think that just because you're a Christian that you're now somehow exempt from all temptation. Be wise.
3. Don't blame the devil or anyone else for YOUR sin.
4. Remember that Jesus promises to help us and fight with us, right by our side.
5. God sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for all of our sins. Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. He has already won the war against sin and death. All we need to do is walk closely with him and we'll reach the finish line.
6. Remember that you are a precious gem in God's eyes. He sees you as the most beautiful thing he's ever created. What HE thinks of you is what matters the most.

There, see? I do have a way out! I do know what to do. Now comes the hard part...doing it.

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