It's Just Stuff

Lately, my three year old has become very destructive. I have no idea where this is coming from, but let me tell you, it has been trying my emotions like no other. I was standing at the sink doing dishes the other day and heard a weird banging noise coming from the dining room where Sarah was eating breakfast. When my brain registered that this was not a good sound to be hearing in the dining room, I walked in to see what she was doing. Well, she was banging her fork into the surface of the table over and over again making puncture wounds and chipping the finish off with every strike. Can we say steam and smoke coming out of my ears?

I wish I could say I was calm. I wish I could say I handled myself with extreme self-control. Alas, I can not. I freaked out! I yelled...loudly. I made her cry, and I am not proud of that. I was so angry at the fact that she ruined our table that I forgot I was dealing with a fragile 3-year old little spirit. I know that she needs to be punished and learn that destroying things in our home is not acceptable, but I really wish I would have handled it differently.

Have you ever done something like that? It's the worst feeling in the world because not only did you hurt your child's feelings, but you still have to punish them so they know that being destructive is not OK. On top of that, you are upset about your "stuff" being ruined. Is the table still usable? Yes, of course. But, the table is special to me for reasons that might seem silly to someone else and I was really really bummed about it being scratched up.

Some of you are probably thinking, well if your table was so darn precious, then why didn't you have a tablecloth on it? Or protective tabletop pads? Or at least place mats? Well, as they say, hindsight is 20/20. My reasons for hating tablecloths and place mats are probably pretty stupid, but I have my reasons. I guess the lesson learned is that I might have to endure a nice, vinyl tablecloth for a while and fore go the pretty table runner, candles, etc. until my kids are older. My kids are extremely messy eaters (still), and I have no desire to be doing an extra load of laundry every day or endure a few days of a nasty, smelly, stained tablecloth on the table. I also have no desire to have an entire cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to tablecloths and place mats! I know, might sound stupid, but those are just a couple reasons why I'm even typing about this right now.

I've also realized that when these issues arise, sometimes I let my anger run-a-muck and I start complaining about how this house is too small to have a kitchen table that I don't really care about (where the kids can eat and do their art projects, etc.), and then a nice formal table. Right now, my nice formal table is the only table we can eat at as a family every night. So, I guess I have to be willing to sacrifice the "good table" for laughs and jokes with the fam. When it comes right down to it, it seems like that's not really a sacrifice.

Am I the only woman who's ever felt like this before? There are other things that Sarah has ruined lately that haven't been so important, but she still needs to realize that no matter what it is, it's not hers to ruin. I realize that she's only three and that some things are not done with malice. I have to handle those situations differently (after determining what her intentions really were.) It's tough sometimes, really tough. Kind of like the time when Hailey broke a necklace that was my Great-Grandma's. To make it even worse, my husband thought it was just one of her dress-up necklaces and vacuumed up all the beads. Yeah, I cried. I did find one bead under our bed a little while later and I still have it in my jewelry box.

The bottom line of this entire post is that "it's JUST stuff." Why do we get so attached to the things of this world? Well, maybe because some things are attached to memories; some things are expensive and maybe we worked really hard to pay for it; some things are rare, or homemade and really special to us...the list goes on and on. In the end though, when we leave this earth we can't take a single thing with us. It doesn't matter how much "stuff" we have, how special it is, how rare it is. Nothing on this earth is as important as our relationships...with our kids, our families, our friends, but most importantly, with Jesus. We need to be working harder at protecting our children's hearts than our stupid dining sets. (In my case, anyway.) Am I still upset when I look at the table? Sure. But I am dealing with it in my own heart. I will never again mention it to Sarah unless she does it again. Although I really hope she doesn't.

Next time my kids ruin something, which I'm sure they will, I will try my best to be slow to anger and discipline them properly and effectively, without yelling. I thank God every day for his grace. As parents, I think we all need a double portion!