Today is one of those days when I really wish I could tell the future. There are so many choices to make and it's really tough sometimes because, obviously, you don't want to make the wrong one. We aren't given a guide or a roadmap to tell us what to do or where to go in this life. We just have to navigate the best we can, (which I hate by the way.) I am a person who likes stability and control. I like things to be in order. I don't like things up in the air. But, I guess it's during times like these where you are forced to rely on the Lord and what His plans are for your life. You have to trust that He will lead you and guide you. Very rarely has he spoken to me from above and told me exactly what I'm supposed to do. It's usually that still small voice that I have to listen to, the Holy Spirit.
I can almost always tell if I'm going in the right direction by gauging how peaceful I am on the inside. If I don't feel peace, then it's usually not the right thing. However, when Josh (my hubby) first told me that we were supposed to move to Virginia, I had absolutely NO peace for several days. I was praying and seeking God during that entire time, but felt no peace. Then, on a Wednesday morning, I woke up really early and told the Lord I needed an answer that day. I was desperate to have peace about moving. I would have gone anyway, out of submission to my husband, but I really wanted to have the reassurance myself that it was what we were supposed to do. He reminded me of a prophecy that was spoken over us several years earlier. So, I dug around for my ancient walkman, put some batteries in it, got out the cassette tape, (it was recorded for us), and listened to it. I went from being completely sick to my stomach to totally excited and ready to move all within five minutes. Almost everything that was spoken over us had come to pass during that 2 1/2 year time period. It was absolutely amazing! Needless to say, I was overjoyed that I had a clear answer from God.
Then there are times, like now, where things are a bit more cloudy again. You think you may be heading in one direction and then, lurch, you're set on a different course, or you have the option to change courses. Or, an opportunity presents itself and you are trying to decipher whether or not it's from God, or a distraction to keep you from His will. This is the reason why I wish I could tell the future. I wish I knew how my decisions today will shape my tomorrow. But, because I don't know, and the decisions still have to be made anyway, I must trust that the still small voice of the Holy Spirit will help me. I know He will because Jesus promised his disciples in John 14 that even though he had to leave, the Father would send the Holy Spirit to help them and remind them of everything Jesus taught them while here on earth. That hasn't changed since that time. He did send the Holy Spirit, and he is still here to help us. Jesus said in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
So, I am going to push through the cloudy thoughts and trust that the Lord will lead me, just like he did when we moved here. We have had nothing but incredible blessings ever since. We are in the will of God, and there's no place I'd rather be.
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