Be An Example of Love

Today was an interesting day. I guess you could say that I "got up on the wrong side of the bed." I just did not have a good attitude about being awake at 6:15. I think it had something to do with the fact that I had very strange dreams last night, so I felt like I didn't really sleep. Who knows? It also could have been that I woke up to the sound of my girls fighting. Isn't that a lovely way to wake up? What was even better was that, along with the sounds of the kids fighting, was the sound of my husband yelling at them to stop it and be quiet because they were going to wake mommy up. I proceeded to tell him that I'd rather him just come and get me out of bed to deal with them rather than him having to get all frustrated about trying to let me sleep. What? Did I really tell him to wake me up so that I can deal with the fighting children instead of getting an extra half hour of precious sleep? The truth is, even though it frustrates me to no end when my kids fight, I can handle it better than my husband can. Maybe it's because I deal with it all day and I'm used to reffing and breaking up the fights. Maybe it's because he only has a certain amount of time in the morning to get out the door and he can't handle the massive distraction of the kids hitting each other, screaming, and crying at the top of their lungs. Either way, I have realized that although his intentions are good by wanting to let me sleep, it's just not working out. I am the mom, my job begins when the kids wake up. And that's ok. I may not like it very much, especially on days like today, but I realize that is just the way it is right now. Some day my kids will sleep in, some day my kids will stop fighting so much, some day they will be friends and, sadly, some day they will be gone. I know that all too soon I will be kissing them goodbye as they head off to college, or wherever their lives take them.

I wish some days that I could stop time. We'll be going along through the day and all of a sudden one of the girls will say or do something so "grown up" and it makes me just want to freeze that moment so I can hang onto it forever. I have to admit that sometimes I am scared about the future. Don't get me wrong, I don't live in fear of the future. I'm just saying that the uncertainty of it can be a little overwhelming at times. I wonder what kind of women my girls will grow into. Am I raising them in such a way that they will follow after the Lord and seek His will for their lives? Will they take what I've taught them and use it to change and impact their world? Will they want to tell me their troubles and their secrets when they are teenagers? Will I be a "cool mom"? What will this world be like when they are my age? I don't dwell on these things every day, just some days, like today. All I can do is raise them the best way I know how and love them with everything in me. I believe that if my girls know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved; by me, my husband, and most importantly, by God, then everything I hope for them will come to pass.

It is my duty to be an example of love to them so that they will learn to love others. My children are already very compassionate and I want to protect and nurture that in them so they will continue to be compassionate their entire lives. If I'm not careful, I can let my responsibility as a mom become a burden and place a yoke on myself. I am not aiming for perfection, I want my kids to see me "real." I don't have to be perfect, but I do have to lead by example the best way I can. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." I trust the Lord that he will show me what I need to be teaching my children and that they will hold fast to what they've learned and use it to be their own examples of Christ to the world.

Well, I need to get off to bed. 6:00 is going to come very quickly and tonight I am praying for a sound and dreamless sleep. Before I go, I want to share with you some of the girls' latest funnies. We were in line at a drive-thru on Tuesday night and it was taking a long time. Out of the blue we hear Sarah yell out, "Get goin' dude!" Hmmm...wonder where she learned that from (Josh)? Sarah calls her covers her "cupboards." We were listening to a worship cd in the car this morning on the way to preschool. All of a sudden, I heard Hailey start sniffing loudly. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "Oh, this song just makes me cry." "It makes you cry?" I asked. "Yeah, it's just lovely and so sad," she said. Words I never thought I'd hear myself say today (or any other day for that matter): "Stop making that noise Hailey! There's no sucking involved with eating a banana!" It was seriously the worst slurping noise she's ever made and it was driving me insane....worse than nails on a chalkboard! Anyway, those are just a few things from the week that I wanted to share with you.

I pray you all have a wonderful week. May God bless each one of you in his own special way and give you everything that you need.