"I'll Do It Later, I'm A Procrastinator"

Do you ever wonder why you are the way you are? I do. There are many things that I like about myself, but there are also many things that I dislike about myself. For example, I am a procrastinator. I fully admit it. I have tried to change this several times but I just can't seem to master it completely. One thing that has forced me to change somewhat is my children. I can't procrastinate with them. If it's time for breakfast, I can't just sit around and not make them anything to eat. If it's bath time, I have to get going so that they will be in bed on time. If they fall down and hurt themselves, I can't just sit around and wait for them to come to me. I run to them and make sure they are ok. When it's time for preschool, I have to be prepared in advance so that we make it there on time. As mothers, we do what we have to do when we have to do it, not necessarily when we feel like it. Do I always feel like taking the time to prepare a nutritious meal from scratch, or read "just one more" bedtime story, or sit around just doing nothing with my girls when there are so many other things that need to be done? No. But I do it anyway because I love them and they are important to me.

This hasn't been easy for me. Especially the waking up early thing. I would love to be able to procrastinate until about 8:00 every morning, but that just ain't gonna happen. I'm slowly getting used to it and am very glad that my body can handle a cup of regular coffee again. I can't drink more than one, but it's enough to clear the fog somewhat. It's especially difficult if the kids have been up in the night, which is often, or if I've had a lot of dreams. I've been having the strangest and sometimes very disturbing dreams the past four nights in a row. I always try to analyze them (if I can remember them) and wonder what kind of person I am for dreaming these things. I know, they're just dreams. But, they are part of me and they really do make me wonder if there are things I need to deal with consciously so that they go away. Well, enough about that.

I got to thinking the other day about the difference between happiness and joy. I think that happiness is based on circumstances that are pleasant and fulfilling at the moment, but joy is being happy in the midst of circumstances that are unpleasant, challenging, and even scary at times. Here are the definitions of happiness and joy:

Happiness - 1) good fortune: prosperity 2) a state of well-being and contentment 3) a pleasurable or satisfying experience 4) Characterized by good luck; fortunate 5) Cheerful; willing: happy to help.

Joy - 1) the emotion evoked by well-being, success or good fortune, or by the prospect of possessing what one desires; delight: the expression or exhibition of such emotion 2) a state of happiness or felicity: bliss (complete happiness) 3) a source or cause of delight 4)a. intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness b.) the expression or manifestation of such feeling.

If you look at the definitions of happiness, what are the opposite definitions? Bad fortune, poverty, a state of sickness, an un-pleasurable experience, bad luck, unfortunate, crabby, unwilling, unhappy to help. You would have to say that if you are experiencing any of those things, then you can't be happy, you must be unhappy.

The opposite is true when you are looking at the definition of joy. My favorite part of the definition is "the prospect of possessing what one desires." Even if you don't have what you are desiring, you can still have hope in the prospect of receiving it. When you have hope, you have joy. That means that even in the midst of terrible circumstances, we can have joy. We may not feel happy, but joy is more than a feeling. It's about hope in Jesus. True joy is far deeper than happiness. Happiness is only temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God's presence within us. Don't base your life on circumstances, but on God. If we truly understand the future that he has planned for us, we will have joy no matter what we are going through down here on earth. This earth is not our home. There is a place in Heaven that God is preparing for us right now. Psalm 16:11 says, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Getting back to the procrastination thing, here are some definitions of the word, procrastinate: 1) to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness 2) to postpone or delay needlessly 3) to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

That last definition really spoke to me because of what I've been procrastinating about lately. The Lord has been asking me to do something for a very long time. Out of fear and excuses I have been disobedient and have not done what he said to do. So far, he has been patient. So far, doors are still opened to me. But, I feel that his patience is starting to wear off a bit and if I continue to disobey, the opportunities that are possible right now may become impossible. He will give the opportunity to someone else. The last thing I want is to disappoint the Lord. I look at what he has done for me and what he's asking me to do and they don't even come close in comparison. So, I have taken the steps to obey and I am excited to see what happens when I actually get the opportunity to do it. When the Lord asks you to do something, he will give you everything you need to accomplish it, even if it seems impossible. Seek His wisdom first, above all.

Isaiah 55:6 says, "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near." God is not planning on moving away from us, but we often move away from him. Don't wait until you have drifted far away from God to seek him because, later in life, turning to him may be far more difficult. I have been there, and it is not fun. So much heartache can be spared just by seeking and obeying God NOW, not later, when you feel like it. Sometimes there are many tears involved in obeying God and doing what he says. But, listen to what he promises us in Psalm 126:5-6. "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them." You may have to stretch yourself beyond what you think is humanly possible to sow your seed where the Lord is asking you to sow it. But, he promises that we will reap a harvest and that we will have joy. Keep listening, keep seeking, keep obeying, stop procrastinating! You will see your reward.