What Is "Normal" Anyway?

It has taken me SO long to write again since returning from our trip to the Seattle area. We've been home for over a week now but, with the time change and kids not sleeping well, it's been really hard to settle back into a normal routine. Then again, what is "normal" anyway? I think that everyone has their own idea of what normal is to them. To me, it's the kids waking up at a semi-decent hour, say at least after 6:30am. It's them being happy and eating their breakfast with very little fighting, or at least minimal fighting, while I enjoy a nice, strong cup of coffee. Then, it's off to do something fun like go to the park, or get in the pool, or go to the mall if it's raining, you get the idea. Then lunchtime, Sarah's nap (which means Mommy-Hailey time), then playing or getting back outside somehow, whether it be a walk downtown to the fountain, or maybe back to the pool (if I'm really brave and energetic). Then, Daddy comes home and we make dinner and sit down as a family and giggle while the girls entertain us, and themselves. Then, it's playtime with Daddy for a bit, then bath time or a shower (depending on my energy level and levels of squabbling throughout the day), then pj's, brushing teeth, story time or a quick game between Daddy and Hailey while I read to Sarah, then bedtime: where the kids actually lay right down and go to sleep peacefully with little smiles on their faces...

That is what a "normal" day would be like for us. However, it does not usually happen that way. Sometimes it does, which makes me very happy. But, life tends not to be normal all the time and anyway, what fun would that be? Seriously, if we never had any curves or roadblocks in the path of life, it would get pretty boring. In fact, I know people whose lives are SO normal, that they have to create drama just to have something to do. Really. I hope I never get to that point. I have enough drama in my world to make more on purpose.

One thing that has been getting more "normal" for me is my health. My feet and legs have improved so much that I have found myself thinking, "Wow, this is what normal people must feel like!" But then I thought, "Wait a minute...what is "normal" anyway? Everyone has aches and pains of their own that they deal with. Whose body is actually normal?" It really is the truth. No one is normal! That makes me feel so much better. I used to say things to myself like, "If I was just normal I could..." (fill in the blanks.) And then I realized, I will never be "normal." I am me, unique. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. No one in this world is exactly like me. We are all unique.

You know me and my definitions. Well, here are some definitions of the word "normal":

–adjective 1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. 2. serving to establish a standard. 3. Psychology. a. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment. b. free from any mental disorder; sane. 4. Biology, Medicine/Medical. a. free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation, or from experimental therapy or manipulation. b. of natural occurrence. –noun 7. the average or mean: Production may fall below normal. 8. the standard or type.

Who wants to conform to the standard, or the common person? Who wants average intelligence, or an average personality? I think everyone has a little bit of insanity in them. Most people have some form of infection, disease, or malformation, either big or small, in their body. So far, I have never met a "perfect" person. Have you? So, what is the standard human? What is "normal"? I don't think there is such a thing, and that's ok. I am finally at peace with myself about where I'm at in life. I'm ok with the fact that I'm not "normal". You know what I'm finding out? The more I open up to people about what I deal with, or have dealt with in my life; be it physical, emotional, or whatever, the more they open up to me about what they are going through and I realize that nobody is normal. Everyone has things they deal with and I wouldn't trade my problems for anyone else's.

I think God allows us to go through certain things so that we can learn and grow. I think that we go through other things simply because we live in a world of sin and bad things are going to happen. God knows what each of us can handle and he promises that he will never give us more than we can bear. He knew that I would be able to handle this nerve disorder that I have, but maybe I wouldn't have been able to handle chronic migraines, or irritable bowel syndrome, or cancer. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that God caused this nerve disorder. I'm just saying that if he knew it would push me over the edge, I don't think he would have allowed it to happen to me. As I've said before, I am now thanking God for what it's taught me instead of whining and complaining about why he hasn't taken it away from me. The truth is, he is taking it away from me.

This trip to Seattle was the first airplane trip in over 10 years where I was able to take off my shoes and walk through security, get through the flights without having to chew my fingernails off from the pain, walk to get my bags instead of having an airline attendant push me in a wheelchair, ride in the car on the way home laughing instead of crying and stay up and walking around until bedtime that night. On the way back to Virginia, I thought it would be different because I'd already been up a lot of the day and it was a later afternoon flight. (Remember how I used to be controlled by the clock?) But no, I still walked through security without my shoes and did all of the above all over again. Even though my feet already hurt when we left my parents' house, even though I was super emotional about leaving home again, missing my family, having just gone through my grandma's things and picking out what I'd like to keep, etc., etc. It was tough to leave. And yet, in spite off all of that, I still did what I needed to do. I didn't have to push myself and suffer through it. It was just fine. That is truly a miracle. That is why I can say with all confidence that my total healing is very near.

So, I'm telling you, keep on praying, keep on believing for your miracle, keep on thanking God for all he's done for you. It will pay off! And, forget about being "normal". Really, forget about it. So what if you're not? You are still a wonderful person who is loved by God. You are still able to be used by him. As long as you're still breathing, he has a plan for your life. He has hope in you and he believes in you. I'm done worrying about what "normal" is and how to accomplish it. I'm not worrying anymore about being able to wear high heels, or swim in the pool barefoot, or run on the beach barefoot. I know those things are coming. I'm happy to be me, and me is good. : ) I will leave you with something my Grandma Peggy always used to say. She'd say, "Be happy with how God made you because God didn't make no junk!"