We leave for Washington tomorrow! I am so excited to see my family and friends. I'm not excited about the plane rides to get there, but I am preparing myself mentally to do great! Flying has always been a struggle for me, not because I'm scared of flying, but because my feet swell so bad and that creates pain. I usually end up in a wheelchair at the end of the flight so I can get to my bags, and then to the car. I'm hoping that won't be the case this time. But you know what? So what if it is. I have finally come to the place in my life (and healed enough) to realize that my faith in God is strong. He is pleased with me and that's all that matters.
I used to push myself beyond what I was truly capable of because I thought that if I got in that wheelchair, it meant that I wasn't having faith in God to help me. Duh! Maybe the wheelchair was the tangible way that God was there for me to get me where I needed to go! I couldn't see it that way though. I felt like I failed him every time. Well, not anymore. I know that I'm not just sitting around waiting for Him to heal me and using everything and everyone to massage my need for sympathy in the meantime. I am active, I walk as much as possible and can even run to the elevator when I hear the "ding" and realize that one of my children is about to run into the elevator without me and take a little joyride to an unknown floor. (It's happened twice.) The point is that I am doing just fine. Jesus knows my intentions, and they are good. I am going to do all that I can do myself, and trust Him for the rest on our flights tomorrow.
What I've been talking about reminds me of the story of a man who was stranded on the top of his house due to a flood that was rising all around him at an alarming rate. He prayed and prayed to God to rescue him. There were two attempts made by people to rescue him. Once, by a helicopter pilot who was flying around looking for survivors, and once, by a fisherman who was in a motorboat looking for survivors. Both times the stranded man turned them down explaining that he was waiting for God to help him. Unfortunately, the waters rose too high and ended up drowning the stranded man. After he entered the gates of heaven he asked God, "How come you didn't save me from the flood?!" God answered, "I tried to...twice."
Now, I haven't been talking about physically drowning, but the concept is the same. And in a way, I did used to drown myself. I drowned in unnecessary pain, fear, and anguish. I was already in pain, wheelchair or not, but I would have been in less pain if I would have just gotten in the chair instead of hoofing it across the airport trying to be a hero. Don't let pride do that to you! You don't have to be a hero. If God provides you a way out, take it! He loves you and wants to help you. There will be times when you'll know that you're supposed to push yourself. In those times, you will have peace. It doesn't mean you may not have some fear, but even with the fear there will be peace, and the strength to do it. God will never ask you to do something and then leave you without what you need to accomplish it.
So, take care my friends and I will write all about my trip when I get back. Have a great week!
Love,
Tracie
P.S. Prayers are still always appreciated. ; )
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