That "One Thing"

Last week, I started a new workout routine and decided to cut out sugar all in the same 48 hour time period.  What was I thinking?  I have to say that physically, I feel really good (even though my muscles are questioning that statement.)  Mood wise, I feel like I need to hit something.  I finally had to admit to myself that sugar was an addiction.  I have had a major sweet tooth my whole life and trying to break a 34 year-old habit isn't so easy.  However, I am allowing myself one cheat day a week when I can eat whatever I want for one meal...including the biggest dessert I can find.  Eventually, I'm sure I won't even want the dessert.  Or if I do, maybe just half.  It's amazing how once you remove something from your life for a long enough period of time, your body doesn't crave it the same way.  (At least, that's what I'm telling myself will happen.)

I guess sugar is like any other addiction.  Alcohol, drugs, nicotine, etc. AND sugar all have the same effect when it comes to cravings.  When you are trying really hard to avoid something it seems like that's the very thing you want the most.  It's so unfair.  Like, when you're driving around town and the light posts look like chocolate covered pretzel sticks and the stop signs look like lollipops and you could swear that the brown Toyota that just passed you on the freeway was a giant Snickers bar sent to torture you...sigh.  I don't know, maybe I need some serious help.  Have you ever felt this way?  It is a total mind-over-matter thing with me.  I have to immediately think of something else, take a huge gulp of water, or put gum in my mouth if it gets really bad just to make it through the temptation some days.  Crazy?  Maybe. But, whatever it takes, I'm going to make it to my goal.  I can't afford not to.

What started this whole thing is the fact that my legs and feet have been acting up a lot lately.  By acting up I mean extreme pain that I clench my teeth to get through.  This does not fit into my schedule and, therefore, is unacceptable.  I absolutely refuse to go through another winter in so much pain that I feel like I want to saw my legs off.  In order for me to do that, or make a try for it anyway, is to increase physical exercise and decrease foods that are not good for me.  I know this because it's worked in the past.  Why didn't I stick with it if it was working?  Well, I'm an emotional eater.  There, I said it.  Food makes me happy.  A big bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy or homemade mac 'n cheese really does cheer me up.  That, along with a giant piece of cheesecake...any flavor.  The problem is, when I eat that stuff I get lazy, I get a headache, and I don't want to do anything but sit around.  Sitting around for too long and letting exercise slip by month after month is what leads to more pain in my legs and feet.

So, what made me snap out of this and decide to make these changes?  The Lord has been speaking to me a lot lately about abundant life, living with conviction and self-control, pursuing peace, etc.  I'm realizing that what he's called me to do cannot be done from my couch.  Last Sunday night, I really did not want to get up off the couch and go to church.  I was in pain, I was in my pj's, and I just didn't want to go.  Whenever I feel like that, it usually means I'm really supposed to go.  As it turns out, what the Lord spoke to me through that message was what has changed me, for good.  The main quote I took with me was, "It's the break-away that makes the breakthrough."  Until we're ready to break away from that "something" that we're holding onto, we won't see the breakthrough we need.  We have to be willing to break away from old ways and old habits.

He had these bars (like jail bars) set up on stage with a large piece of fruit sitting on a table behind them.  He reached his hand in the bars and grabbed hold of the fruit and wouldn't let go.  As hard as he tried, he couldn't break away from the bars because he refused to let go of the fruit.  He asked these questions:  "What is that one thing, that one issue, the one thing you can't let go of?"  Immediately, my answer was sugar.  I realized that until I was willing to let go of that, there was no way I was going to get my breakthrough.  And I NEED this breakthrough!  I can't do this on my own either.  I have to ask for Jesus to help me because in my own strength, it won't happen the way it needs to.  Now, I'm not discounting my own strength, and Jesus doesn't either.  It is entirely up to me whether or not I exercise and have willpower over sugar and foods I shouldn't eat.  But, I do need his help and I know that because he spoke to me so clearly about this, he's going to help me.

Your "one thing" may be something completely different from mine.  But, I encourage you to think about what it might be...if you even have one.  You could be doing great and walking in your breakthrough right now.  If you are, Praise the Lord!  I will surely be praising him when I'm walking in mine.  But if you aren't, and you are still waiting for your breakthrough, then take a look at what you might be holding on to.  Once you know what it is, give it to God and let it go.  I'll keep you posted on my new journey.  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!!!