As I was driving home from an appointment this morning, I passed an orange sign that said, "Inmates Working Ahead." I often pass them along this particular stretch of road and I usually don't think much about it, but today was different. Maybe it's because traffic was moving slower than usual, so I had a chance to pay more attention to the scene. There were about twelve inmates all wearing their orange jumpsuits with a reflective vest over top. There were three cop cars and about 5 or 6 police officers milling around, also with reflective vests on. What caught my attention was a certain inmate walking down the median with a trash bag in his hand. There was a police officer following him very closely with his hand positioned over his weapon. I didn't have time to keep looking as traffic sped up, but something about that scene tugged at my heart.
Here I was looking out at the blue sky, my music blaring, feeling so thankful for such a warm and beautiful day. I was thankful about the fact that I was having a day with less pain. I was thankful that I was able to do a little shopping after my appointment that I've been needing to do for several weeks now. I was just thankful. When I saw the inmates working on the side of the road, I began to feel sad for them. I was thinking to myself how nice it must be for them to be outside in the sunshine, but my next thought was of how they were going to have to go right back to prison as soon as they were done with their work. All of a sudden, I had much more to be thankful for. Most of all, freedom.
I started to let my mind wander. I thought about how many people there are who are walking around technically "free", but on the inside they are in prison. On the inside, they feel like there is someone or something following them around waiting to react if they make a sudden or wrong move...someone waiting to take them back to their prison cell. That used to be me.
I was married when I was 21 years old to a person that I thought loved me and would protect me. All of my dreams and hopes of what a loving marriage would be like were dashed on the rocks of my actual reality. I felt like I was in a prison. I felt controlled. The worst part was, during that time, I had also walked away from my true source of freedom, Jesus. I still went to church. I still looked the part of the sweet pastor's daughter. I looked fine on the outside, but I was in prison on the inside. I had made a huge mistake just a few months before that time in my life and I felt so far away from God that I thought I would never be close to him again. I thought he was angry with me for a long time. I know now that wasn't the case, but it's taken me a lot of years to forgive myself and accept the true, unconditional love of Jesus.
I wonder how many people in my own world are walking around like this, with invisible chains, like I was. If that is you, I am praying for you. I am praying that you will run into the open arms of Jesus and accept his love and forgiveness. If you are in an abusive or controlling relationship, then I am praying for a way out for you. I don't know who you are, but I am going to be praying for you.
It's funny to me how something so common, like driving past inmates working on the side of the road, can stir my heart to pray for people that I may not have even considered praying for today. I truly believe that when you wake up in the morning and say, "Hi, God. Good morning. I am here today to do your will, to serve you in whatever capacity you need me, to listen to you and keep my eyes and heart open for opportunities to be a blessing to others. Use me, Lord." I believe that when we pray like that, and we mean it, God will give us those opportunities.
I have no idea who those inmates were, or what they did to find themselves in prison, but it really doesn't matter. I am praying for them too. We all make mistakes. Sin is sin. In our eyes, some sin is worse than others, and there are different consequences for different sins. But, ALL sin has consequences. In God's eyes, it's all the same. In God's eyes, he loves us all, regardless of the sins we have committed. In that, there is freedom! Maybe you put yourself in prison. Maybe you let guilt consume you, so you've isolated yourself thinking that if you punish yourself long enough, you can pay your debt. My friend, that is wrong. If Jesus can forgive you the very moment you ask him to and throw your sin into a sea of forgetfulness as far as the east is from the west, then who are you to hold on to it and beat yourself up? Let it go! Be free!
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Psalm 103:8-12
"The Lord is compassionate and merciful,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He will not constantly accuse us,
nor remain angry forever.
He does not punish us for all our sins;
he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west.
See? It's all good! You are forgiven when you ask! Maybe you didn't put yourself in prison, but you feel imprisoned by someone else, or by the circumstances you're in. There is hope for you as well. Psalm 34:17-18 says, "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Jesus saves, rescues, and restores. Nothing you have done is so great that he cannot forgive, nothing that anyone or anything can do to you is so impossible that God cannot and will not rescue you from it. Let that sink in.
God rescued me from my abusive marriage and he restored me. He has blessed me with an incredible husband of almost twelve years, and two beautiful daughters. Our God is the God who heals. He loves you. He forgives you. He accepts you. Walk in that today and know that there is someone praying for you. :)
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