Day 18: W.A.T.E.R.

For some reason, I had the overwhelming desire to watch Josh and I's wedding video this afternoon. The girls asked me a couple months ago if we could watch it and we just hadn't gotten around to it yet. It's hard to believe this May will be thirteen years since Josh and I got married. So much has happened in our lives. So many of our guests are no longer with us, including several family members. And several of the family members that are still with us want nothing to do with each other anymore. Seeing everyone so happy and full of love for one another on our wedding day brought back wonderful memories. But I have to say, it was very bittersweet to watch.

Josh's brother, Aaron, was killed in a car accident on November 14, 2006. We still miss him so much. He was a very special and fun-loving man. I was 26 weeks pregnant with Sarah and Aaron and I had just spoken on the phone a few days before he died. He was so excited that he was going to be an uncle again. We were scheduled to fly to California on the 17th to spend Thanksgiving with Josh's family. The last thing we said before we hung up was, "See you in a few days! Love you!" To watch him leave his sweet video message for us had me in tears. Hailey too. But we took some time to remember him and ended up laughing together when it came time for the dancing at the reception. Our reception was seriously so fun.

Josh arrived home in time for the end of the video. By the time we finished watching it, we all had tears in our eyes. Tears of happiness and sadness mixed together. It was so fun to see how young Josh and I looked, how our voices sounded different, and the intense love and joy in our eyes. It was amazing to see our parents laughing and dancing together. I bawled watching my Dad walk me down the aisle and give me away; then later, when we danced our father/daughter dance. When I saw my sweet Grandma Peggy walk in, that's when I really lost it. I wanted to jump into my TV screen and be back in that perfect night. I wanted to have one more chance to hug everyone and tell them how much I love them. But, memories will have to do until we all meet again.

During the ceremony, our pastor spoke about several different things relating to love and having a godly marriage. I hadn't remembered everything he said. (It was quite a long ceremony.) But one part has stuck with me from that night until now. Our pastor used the acronym, W.A.T.E.R., as his advice to us for how to have a successful marriage. Here's what it means...

W: Weather the Storms
A: Affirm Each Others' Strengths
T: Take Time to Build Memories
E: Encourage One Another
R: Resolve Your Conflicts

Every meaning of every letter has been key in keeping our marriage strong. None of them have been easy at all times, that's for sure. But they are necessary and we have never forgotten them. Josh and I have weathered many storms. In fact, we're anchored into our boat again right now as we go through another one. We have done our best to affirm each others' strengths and minimize each others' weaknesses. That's a tough one at times. We definitely take time to make memories. That is so important, especially now that we are raising children. We encourage one another daily, even when we may not feel like it. And we do our very best to resolve our conflicts as quickly as possible. That was harder in the earlier years of our marriage. But, as we've kept God at the center and allowed Him to remain our source of strength, it's gotten much easier. Our hearts are softer now.

I hope you can take some of the advice that was given to us and apply it to your own relationships. It certainly has been something that has helped us tremendously. As I end this post, may I ask you to please forgive those who have hurt you. Please don't hold offenses and unforgiveness in your heart. What joy it would bring if instead of longing for the way things used to be, they could actually be that again and more in this present time. Back to a time of reconciliation and laughter. That is my heart for my family, and it's my heart for yours. Until tomorrow then...

Love,

Tracie

Romans 12:9-10 ~  Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.