I just tucked her in a little while ago, after reading her a bedtime story. I love that she still wants to wrap her arms around my neck and give me Eskimo kisses. She told me tonight, "Mommy, you're the best Mom in all of history!" Whether I believe that about myself all the time or not, my daughter does. Guess that means I'm doing something right! Although, I do believe last week she told me, "You're so mean! I can't believe you won't let me play my DS before school!" Ah, kids. It's an emotional yo-yo we are riding up and down on most days. My poor husband. At least our dog is a boy.
As I was snuggling with Sarah, I thought back to what it used to feel like to have my Mom and Dad tuck me in. I remember that no matter what may have happened during the day, I went to sleep knowing I was loved and safe. I remember thinking a long time ago, "When I have kids, I'm going to make sure that when they go to bed at night, they feel as warm and safe and loved as I do." I would lie my head on my pillow and just drift off to sleep, listening to the sounds of my parents moving around the house or talking quietly. Sometimes I miss those days. Especially when I'm sick and I just want my Mom to come over and make me her yummy chicken noodle soup and put a cool cloth on my head...
Do you ever have a moment as a parent when you wish you weren't the responsible one? Do you ever want to go back to when life was as simple as going to school, coming home and doing homework, helping with dinner, eating around the table as a family, and then being tucked in bed? I do.
I know some of you didn't have that kind of childhood. Maybe you didn't get tucked in at night. Maybe you went to bed lonely and scared. Maybe the sounds you heard outside your bedroom door weren't soothing and pleasant, but scary and unsettling. Maybe you didn't eat dinner as a family. Maybe you only had one parent raising you. Maybe you had another type of guardian raising you. Maybe you grew up in an orphanage. I don't know what your childhood was like. I only know that in spite of many challenges, mine was happy and safe, and I'm trying my best to give my children the same experience. I also know that no matter what kind of childhood you had, if you've accepted Jesus as your Savior, then He is your Heavenly Father and you are now part of an eternal family. That's the good news.
I think every parent feels like they fall short at times. I remember saying, "My kids will never do that. My kids will never behave like that in public. My kids will never yell at me or hurt my feelings..." Well, my kids have done many things that I would rather they hadn't. They can make my heart soar one minute, and the next minute make me feel like my heart is going to break in half. Being a parent is not easy. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
As much as I wish I could have been at Hailey's play tonight, I know my husband is there cheering her on. I'm grateful for a husband that is also my teammate in this challenge of raising godly children. I'm also blessed with two very compassionate children who understand when I can't be at certain events. And they love me anyway. God is so good.
Here are some scriptures to ponder as you drift off to sleep tonight. Wherever you are, whatever your family situation, I pray that you will fall asleep knowing there is a God who loves you, and you are safe in His arms.
Psalm 3:5 ~ I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
Psalm 4:8 ~ In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 121:3-4 ~ He will not let your foot slip - he who
watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who
watches over Israel will neither slumber nor
sleep.
Proverbs 3:24 ~ When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Sleep well, dear readers. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
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